Life Lesson: Back Away From the Table

I’m just going to dive right in.  People can be absolutely rude and disrespectful when it comes to the topic of weight, especially when it comes to a woman’s weight. So a while back around last summer when I moved back home, I was out to dinner with parents and my sister at a local restaurant in my hometown. It was a Sunday, so pretty much most of my town would be there, meaning dinner would be interrupted with greetings, hugs, conversations, and updates about everything. This also means running into people I know…family, neighbors, co-worker, etc.

So, I ran into to family I hadn’t seen in while. We exchanged pleasantries and talked about how life is going. I had just gotten from the salad bar, so I was ready to dig in. Before I headed to my seat, an older relative look at me and my salad said with a big grin, “Girl, you need to back away from the table.” My initial response was to suggest that he do the same since he’s on dialysis and is on tons of meds. But out of respect, I smiled and walked away. Fortunately his son corrected his rudeness.

Unfortunately, I have had other people remind me of my weight after that time. Pretty much relatives. It’s irritating on so many levels because it’s usually people who are much heavier than me and it’s people who are terribly unhappy with themselves. I do my best to not take it personally. I am aware of my body. I love my body and I accept myself where I am. At that time, I was at my heaviest and my body had undergone some major stress and steroids due to asthma. I had an aunt try to come at me and my sister about our weight. I honestly believed that she was trying to find something to start drama because of her life choices. My response was pretty chill and I kept it moving. She had no room to talk. It’s amazing how people put their issues on you.

After that situation, I have made adjustments on how to how handle people who feel the need to be disrespectful. I address their disrespect head on. I had a male relative greet me at public place with “big girl”. I looked around because I saw no big girl around. I politely cut him off and stated to never address me by my weight that he was rude and out order to come at me. I went on to say that he should never talk about a woman’s weight period because it lacks class. I also said that if he tried me again that I would not acknowledge him and his ignorance again. After that, he avoids me whenever I see him out. Serves him right.

If truth be told, I’m really like myself and I accept my body where it is. I’m not perfect but my goal is to be healthy emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I know so many women have experienced negative words about their bodies and their perceived imperfections being exaggerated by unkind souls. I have seen girlfriends and other women be embarrassed by the words of others. There are too many beautiful women who hate or are disgusted with themselves. I want to encourage any woman who have experienced being singled out because of weight, appearance, skin color, and other things to learn to accept yourself right now in the present.

Don’t let the words of others, even family, define your reality. Choose to be healthy on your terms. Weight isn’t an indicator of optimum wellness. Surround yourself with supportive people. Most importantly speak up for yourself. You are responsible for your happiness and well-being. Some people continue to treat you unkindly because you haven’t addressed it. Create boundaries and distance from individuals who aren’t deserving of your presence. Letting unhealthy people go is one of the best weight-loss tips I can give you!

Be Brave and Bold My Warrior Sisters!
Brandi

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