Check Yourself Part 1

Inspiration, Let's Talk...Therapy, Love and Relationship

If you where to ask your family, friends, or co-workers to describe your character, what would they say, honestly?  Think about that.  It’s not so much about what people think but rather the impression that you give.  No matter who you are, we all leave an impression​.  So actually a few months ago, I asked some people that I’m close to about the impression I have had on them. Mind you when it comes to character I am not one to sugar coat the truth so I asked them to be REAL.  So, I sent out a few text messages to co-workers, friends, and family. So, I waited for responses…What I received was very humbling and encouraging.

I think, it is essential to have a “checks and balances” system with a few people in your life so that you maintain integrity and good character. Let me be clear, this is not about finding validation and definition of yourself through others. But rather, having a close person or people who know you well enough to be honest and transparent about your strengths and areas of improvement. They also should have the ability to communicate to you constructively.

Also, it is vital to be aware of yourself. Are you fair and just when you deal with people? Have you been called arrogant or condescending? Do you notice that you don’t get the respect that you deserve in close relationships? On and on…

The reason I am addressing this issue is because I’ve seen too many people who have an unhealthy checks and balances system. Some people are so close-minded that they believe that all is well and that they have arrived to their highest level. Some people are not accepting of the help provided in key relationships. I have even seen people who are extremely opinionated and critical of others get offended when their character is being addressed to them.

People, it is so important to check ourselves. Let’s be aware of our motives, values, and character. Allow positive relationships to enhance us stronger and healthier individuals

I’m ending this post with a very popular quote. “Check yourself before you wreck yourself.”

With much love~Brandi ♥

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The Cure for Confidence

Inspiration, Let's Talk...Therapy, Love and Relationship

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What’s up everyone?  As an advocate for empowerment, I absolutely realize that a key factor of having a healthy sense of self (self-esteem)  is confidence.  Confidence is a trait that is not inherited but developed. It would be awesome if every thing that we needed to be better humans was offered in a magic pill or formula.  However, that’s not the case.
I was in a discussion with some women not long ago about how do I stay confident with so many pressures of being a woman.  My response was this…self-acceptance.  I have learned early as woman in her late 20s to accept myself for my flaws and all. I can’t mark the exact day when I started loving myself unconditionally.  I do know that my confidence is shown in how I carry myself, how I dress, how I live, and how I communicate and so on.  Acceptance is a process.  Self-acceptance reminds me that I am human and imperfect. Which is so amazing because that means that there is no one like me.  It is easy to notice those things that I may not like or wish I could change. But at the end of the day, I still dig who I am as a woman. I don’t let the opinions of others dictate how or who I should be.  Start accepting yourself you are the bomb.♡♥♡

Time to Delete

Inspiration, Let's Talk...Therapy, Love and Relationship

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What’s up my beautiful people? I found this t-shirt last weekend at JC Penney with the word delete.  I thought it was so cute and had a deeper meaning.   We live in the age of social media where we have the choice to accept, decline, like, block and other options.  I think sometimes we get so caught up with how many followers or likes we can get that we allow too many people access into our personal lives. This concept can be applied to our lives.  Deleting is not a bad thing. It is important to delete unnecessary things in order to free up space.  Deleting is cleansing.  Remove the negativity and accept positivity.  Delete self-doubt, drama, jealousy, unhealthy relationships, etc.  You have the power to allow certain things and people into your life just like Facebook and other social media platforms.  It’s up to you.  Make room for happiness, love, healthy relationships, etc.  It’s up to you:-)

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Close the Door and Don’t Go Back

Inspiration, Let's Talk...Therapy

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Good evening, loves!  This has been on my heart and I feel the need to share this with you.

I don’t know about you but I have this great feeling that amazing things are about to happen…not just for me but for you too;-)  I have been spending a lot of quiet, intimate time with God.  And I spent some time with myself.  I have been feeling this pull that there is more for me to do and greater things to pursue.

Have you been feeling that pull, that discomfort that there is more for you…whether it be changing careers, moving to a new location, going back to school, or whatever that change maybe?  Have you been feeling your dreams and desires overtaking your thoughts?  I have.

It is time to let go of the past and move forward.  Whatever that’s holding you back LET IT GO!  Sometimes we hold on to things and people that are hindering us from our dreams.  Letting go is difficult and I’m not going to paint a picture that it is easy.  But once you learn to how to let go it will get better.  It’s time to close the door to the past and don’t go back.

Let me share my personal experience with you.  Recently, I had to close the door to relationships and other situations.  I started to realize that some people who were trying to get close to me did not have pure motives to be close to me.  Over the years, God has strengthened my discernment about those who have tried to connect with me.   Discernment is that uneasy or unsettling feeling you have about a situation or a person that you can’t seem to shake off.  When you experience this feeling, pay attention to it.  It is meant to protect you.  I began having that uneasiness.  I tried to shake it off and ignore it for a while.  I realized that I was not benefiting from the relationships.  I grew frustrated and agitated because I began to see their true motives.  Just because someone says they are there for you does not mean that they truly are.  It goes beyond action too.  Check the motives behind their actions.  It is absolutely okay to ask why someone is doing things for you.  Relationships are not created to drain or take away from you.  Relationships are designed to enhance and improve our lives.  Don’t linger around wondering if changes are going to occur.  Dr. Maya Angelou said it best, “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”  Close the door and don’t go back!  You have given enough.  You have cried enough.  You have been confused long enough.  God has great friendships and relationships designed for you.  Move forward.

Maybe you’re working at a job where you’re not growing or progressing.  You noticed that those around you are comfortable with where they are.  However, you know that there is more for you to do.  Now is the time to launch out and chase your dreams.  It is important that you invest your time and energy into your purpose…your calling.  Don’t stay in a place that is holding you back.  It’s time to awaken your creativity.  If you’re nervous about leaving because of the security of your job, create a short-term plan in which you can transition to where you want to go.  Begin spending more time developing and cultivating your dream.  Transition and close that door and don’t go back!

I hope and pray that you close whatever door that needs to be closed.  Don’t hesitate and don’t procrastinate!  Your destiny and purpose is at stake.  There are lives waiting on you to be inspired by your gift.  Greatness is calling.  Go for it!  I pray that God gives you the strength to launch out.  I pray God’s guidance and protection as you go forward.  I pray that your dreams will come to pass and that you will discover absolute joy!

 

Making Changes

Inspiration, Let's Talk...Therapy

Hey my beautiful people! I pray that 2013 is continuing to bring you much joy and fulfillment, if not, it will happen;-) It feels as if time has been flying. I have been so busy with work, school, and life so I am writing you to “self-soothe” and share some things that have been on my heart. Do you remember that I wrote that I will not be participating in New Year’s resolutions? I am still holding firm to that. The whole concept of a resolution is great, but there is a challenge to follow through with it. There is research to show that about 80% of resolutions fail…

As a therapist, I believe in setting goals for myself and my clients. To me, goals provide direction and it shows progress as well as. It is very important that goal are realistic and achievable. This post is not about goal setting…so, let me get to the point.

Goals are absolutely great! However, it is important to understand why you do what you do. I have been making changes in my life…this nothing new…yet, I am making changes none the less. This year I have made a conscious effort to remain centered as a women.  And the best way for me to stay centered is to be close to my Creator. What I have found is that the more I communicate and fellowship with God, the more I understand who I am as a woman, my purpose for life, and the direction that I should go. I realize how God is a necessity in my life.

So maybe you’re wondering, how am I making changes? Thanks for asking…lol. I am making changes in my thinking which has effected my behaviors.  For example, I have been really conscious about my health. I have had so many issues in regards to asthma and medications. The medications have affected my physical health and not to mention my weight.  At several points over the years, I have been frustrated and discouraged about all of the changes that have occurred.  I accepted that my weight may fluctuate 20,30, 50 pounds at a time. I love myself and possess a healthy dose of self-esteem, yet I was not happy with my health.  Through more quiet alone time with my beautiful Creator, I no longer see issues with my asthma and weight as “struggles”. When I considered those issues as a struggle…I was really struggling against myself.  I refuse to fight myself.  Now, I call my them “motivations”. I am motivated to love myself even more. I exercise 4-6 times a week because I enjoy it and I love my temple. I have made the decision to eat even more healthy and I have almost eliminated meat out of my diet which has given me more energy.

I deactivated my Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram accounts. I started to feel overwhelmed with the social media outlets. Don’t get me wrong social media is a great way to connect with family and friends. I found it to be time-consuming and burdensome. I saw very depressing and disturbing things. I actually had people upset if I denied a friend request or if I failed to respond to message in a timely manner…yes! People are taking social media too serious. I am not suggesting that anyone delete or remove their accounts…but it would not hurt to take a break. It is healthy to have more face-to-face interaction.

I have no goals or set schedule. I am just making changes as they come. The changes I have made are becoming my apart of my life. I have eliminated a lot of distractions and I’m see the health improve. Making good changes are not always easy, however the benefits are great. I want to encourage you to be mindful of your choices in regards to your health, your relationships, and your life. Think about what you’re doing and why? Will your decisions leave you in a healthier place or unhealthy place? You are in my prayers;-)

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–B