Taking Time to Self-Soothe

Inspiration, Let's Talk...Therapy

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What’s up my beautiful people?  This week I was in training and the question came up about how do clients self-soothe.  Some therapist responded that some people use drugs, fighting, act out sexually, and so on.  Since a lot of the answers were unhealthy and depressing, I responded that some clients that I’ve encounter use music, art, and exercise to self soothe.   If we all took time to evaluate  how we self soothe (which simply means to relax or calm down), we all may have unhealthy as well healthy ways we soothe ourselves.

For me personally, I realized that there were times where I would not take time to relax and calm down.  I noticed that I would eat more fast food or not get enough rest.  And when I did not take time for myself, I felt it and saw it.  Over the years, I have learned and practice ways to self soothe.  It is so important to make time for yourself so that you can be your best at work, at home, in your relationships, and most importantly for yourself.  I would like to share some activities that do to self soothe.

1. Exercise or physical activity.  Yes, enjoy being active.  Sometimes I hit the gym and do some cardio.  I usually switch between the treadmill, bike, or elliptical to add some variety.  Sometimes I take short walks or use the stairs.  If I don’t feel like “working out,” I go to YouTube check out some videos and dance until I break out into a sweat.  I also like zumba and other activities.

2. Art. I find that art is very relaxing.  A few years ago, I got into painting canvas with acrylic paint.  I love it.  I also enjoy sewing and knitting.

3. Music.  Music is truly a form of therapy.  It is able to evoke emotions and it truly affects your soul.  I don’t know if you ever heard a song about heartbreak or sadness…you feel it or it reminds you of your personal experiences.  I find that jazz with the music only is relaxing.  Also, I listen to music that is inspirational and up lifting.

4. Writing.  I find that writing my thoughts and feelings helps me to release them.  There are instances where I don’t want to talk about something so I write it out. I write poems, stories, and songs.  It just depends on whats going on in my life.  There have been times where I may have had to deal with someone who may have offended me or I had a disagreement with. I actually have written how about the experience…feelings, thoughts, and vent.  This helps me process the situation.  After I write about it, it helps to effectively communicate with that individual when I encounter them.

5.Other things.  This list could go on.  So, here are some other things that I like to do to self soothe: read, take hot baths (with my oils, salts, and scrubs), laugh (I have invested in comedy dvds and I have learned to find humor in the not so humorous thing;-) It helps), pampering myself (painting my nails, doing my hair, shopping, etc.), BREATHE (it works), being around positive and supportive people who I can talk to, and most importantly my faith in God truly sustains me!

Enjoy and don’t forget to spend more time self soothing and discovering new ways to self-soothe! Make it simple and enjoyable!

Peace,

Brandi

Closet Chic: Sunday Wear 10-14-12

Closet Chic

Hi Everyone!  As promise, I am sharing some of my fashion sense.  I love dresses and that’s what I usually wear on Sundays. Here’s what I wore this past Sunday..let me know what you think!

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Dress: Cato, $14.99

Shoes: Rue 21, $7

Clutch purse: Sears, $2.99

Necklace/earrings: Cato, $1.99 each

Ring: Walmart, $1

My Natural Hair Journey…The Decision Part 1

Natural Hair

I must say that I love my natural hair!  It has truly been a journey of ups and downs. I never would have imagined that I would have invested so much time, energy, and money in my hair.  For those of you who may not be familiar with the term natural hair.  It simply means that my hair is no longer being permanently alter by chemicals that causes my hair to be straight. (If you are curious about the whole process of being chemical free or relaxer free Google it. There are tons of videos, blogs, and websites about natural hair…therefore, I will not be redundant.)

A few years, I started seeing African-American women embracing their natural hair.  I thought that natural hair was beautiful but I knew that it wasn’t for me.  I remember a college friend telling me that she was going natural and she asked me if I might go natural.  I told her that my hair would be unmanageable and too thick to care for.  So as time progressed,  I started seeing more black women shaving their heads or wearing Afros I started digging how amazing how black hair could coil, kink, and curl.  One day in May 2010, my sister was frustrated at the condition of her hair and the challenges of keeping it healthy.  So,  we were at a beauty supply store/beauty shop looking at hair products.  We began talking to some of the workers at the shop discussing hair health and the subject of being natural came up.  My sister started saying that she should cut all of my hair off and start fresh.  A hair stylist told her that going natural could work for her and suggested that she schedule an appointment to get a hair cut.  My sister and I just stared at each other for a while and I saw in her eyes that she was seriously contemplating on chopping all of her hair off.

She asked me should she do it.  I was nervous for her but I knew that she has never been shy about cutting her hair.  I told her to go for it and that I’d pay for it.  She asked the hair stylist to cut it right there before she changed her mind. My sister did the BIG CHOP (google it)!

My Sister after her Big Chop

After my sister big chopped, I was inspired and began researching natural hair.  I saw so many beautiful black women like my sister cut off all of their hair to grow it as God created…curly and free!  After being inspired,educated on how to care for natural hair, and how transition from relaxed to natural… I made the decision on October 16, 2o10 (6 months after my sister cut her hair) to stop relaxing my hair.  Instead of cutting my hair off abruptly,  I chose to transition by simply growing my hair out until I got my hair to certain length of comfort to cut it.  Fast forward to May 11, 2011,  I chose to cut my hair.  Which was one of the best decision I ever made.  Check out my big chop video.  Look out for the part 2…

No Excuses—In FEARLESS PURSUIT

Inspiration, Let's Talk...Therapy

I am a very introspective person…I’m constantly examining and evaluating myself.  At times, I can be too hard on myself,  because I want to maximize my potential.  I see  life as a journey of opportunities and learning experiences that I’m not trying to miss out on.  Not long ago, I ran across a list I made a few years ago about things that I want to do…I guess you could call it my long-term goals…I call it my Destiny List.  As I looked at the list, I forgot that I had written some of those dreams and desires down.  I began to think about what I needed to reach these goal and what was holding me back.  I realized that the only thing that was holding me back was fear.  I consider myself to be a fearless person, but deep down inside I have experienced some self-doubt as well as some fear of not succeeding.  Don’t get me wrong, I am confident in who I am as woman and love who God has created me to be.  There have been times where I’ve looked at my circumstance whether it has been lack of resources, personal connection, or whatever it may have been and allowed it to shake my faith.  To be honest, I used my circumstance as excuses as to why I couldn’t do this or do that. But, I had to remind myself (and still do) that God has given me all of the talent, skills, and resources to make my dreams a reality.   I have no room for excuses.    All I have to do is walk in faith and fearlessly pursue my destiny.

So, I encourage all of you, my fellow dream makers to have no excuses and continue be in FEARLESS PURSUIT of your destiny.~Brandi