Time for me…Ready for Love

Inspiration, Love and Relationship

 

Okay, so I have a confession.  I have been in denial…or at least partially:-)  I AM READY FOR LOVE (in my India.Arie voice with acoustic guitar playing in the background…lol).  I have been happily single for over half a decade.   I am in my late-twenties and most of the women around my age are either frequently dating, in a seriously relationship, or married. I haven’t purposefully chose to be single this long….well maybe just a little.

Let me explain…I tried to the relationship thing a few times but the guys that I dated weren’t going in the same direction whether it was spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, and so on.  Ultimately, I was dating with the purpose of marriage (courting) but not too many guys that are young adults (18-25)  are looking for that.  Don’t get me wrong…I didn’t approach my relationships trying to plan a wedding or get hitched soon.  I wanted to be with someone who I could grow with and ultimately share my life with.  So, I stopped having the boyfriends and just tried to date with the sole purpose of getting to know someone.  To make the long story short…I experienced some pain, frustrations, hurt and I was tired.  I realized that I didn’t want to spend my fabulous twenties making a lot of poor relationship decisions that I saw a lot of my peers making as well as those I had made before.

So, I had a heart-to-heart with God one day.  At the time I was 21, I told God that I am tired of meeting immature guys and I was done with the casual dating. I honestly don’t like dating multiple people simultaneously.  Going to the movies with Tim one night then going to dinner with Jim the next.  It was exhausting. I prayed that the next man I dated would be the one I spent the rest of my life with…my husband.

After that prayer….my dating life stopped abruptly. Talk about being careful what you pray for…lol.  I have had dates fall through and I’ve had people try to introduce me to men who were not was not compatible. Thank God for Facebook and google…lol…profiles say a lot…including the pictures you take.

Anyway, over the past year I realized that I am ready for love. It was truly a revelation.  I realized that over the past couple of years that I really began to experience being in love with God.  I spent my quiet time focusing on how much he adores me and loves me and how much I desire and love him.  I have experienced him at a level to where I was am content… full of his love and purpose.   During my time off from dating, I took time to get to know myself.  I spent a lot of time  focusing on understanding my likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses, what I desire/don’t desire in a mate and so on.  I began to love myself even more flaws and all…unconditional self love.  How can I expect my mate to love me as I am if don’t love me as I am.

So, A few months ago, I realized that I have blocked myself from experiencing romantic love.  It wasn’t because I was trying to be spiritually deep or too focused on my career.  I dream of the day the that I meet my soul-mate…the ONE. However,  deep down inside, I realized that I was denying myself of the romantic love experience mainly due to the limited options of potential suitors. So, I had a  conversation with my Creator and was very specific in my desires.  I expressed the need to share my life with a beautiful man who loves God, who I can be transparent with (true intimacy), and a man I could ultimately grow with and start a family with.

I believe that you have to position yourself receive the things that you desire…if I’m craving pizza I shouldn’t be going to McDonald’s or KFC to satisfy my pizza cravings.  So, when it comes to love or whatever you desire, be available, open, and positioned to get what you desire. If it means stepping out of your comfort zone do that.  So, I have been doing just that…I am making time to be more sociable and interactive.  I have also voiced my desire for love.  It is important that you speak your desires whatever it maybe…instead of saying “I will”….”I will have love” or “I will be successful” I say “I am..”.  “I am loved”, “I am happy”,  “I am creative”….”I am…(add your own words)”.  If you’re bold enough to do this…share your desires with people who you trust because it is great to have support when you’re having a difficult time.  So, I have to ask.  What is it that you desire? Are you open, available, and positioned?  I have one more question…are you ready?  Because, I sure am.

Much love, Brandi:-)

Check Her Out…

Inspiration, Recommended Resources

I ran across one of this author’s books in the summer of 2007 or 2008 while at the library. I don’t know how I stumbled across this book but it was truly a godsend. I am not a big self-help book person but something about the title just grabbed my attention, “You Deserve Healthy Love, Sis”.   As a result of that book, I have purchased 4 books by  Dr. Grace Cornish-Livingstone.  What I have found inspiring about Dr. Cornish is that her goal is to empower black women and she is an advocate for healthy, black love.  I must say that her work influenced my decision to become a marriage and family therapist.  Check her and let me know what you think.

Here’s her website:  http://www.gracelivingstone.org/

Here are the books :

 You Deserve Healthy Love, Sis!: The Seven Steps to Getting the Relationship You WantYou Deserve Healthy Love, Sis…

10 Good Choices That Empower Black Women's Lives10 Good Choices That Empower…

The Sacred Bond: 7 Spiritual Truths to Recognize and Marry Your Very Own Soul MateThe Sacred Bond: 7 Spiritual…

10 Bad Choices That Ruin Black Women's Lives10 Bad Choices That Ruin…

So What if it Doesn’t Work Out?

Inspiration, Let's Talk...Therapy

To all of my go-getters and type A personalities…and anyone who will go over and beyond to see their dreams become a reality. This post is for you.  I don’t know about you, but I have had my share of frustrations like, “Ok, I’m doing my part, but nothing seems to working” or “Why is it taking so long for this to happen” and on and on. You get my drift;-)

The only time I got frustrated like this is when it comes to things that I’m passionate about…the things that keep me moving.  I know that “faith without works is dead” so, I do my best to put my faith in action by working and going hard at what I love to do.  I know that something great is going to happen…but, there have been times  when things would fall through or didn’t work out the way I planned for it to?  That’s when my frustrations would come.  As time has passed and I have grown up a little, I have come the realization that “So what if it doesn’t work out.”

No, I haven’t lost faith.  I wholeheartedly believe that the purpose I was created for is definitely coming to pass.  I got so frustrated because I sitting there saying to myself, “I am putting my faith into action.”   But there’s no result…or so I thought.  But in all actuality, the results were being produced…my faith was (and is) growing. I just want to encourage you to keep working your faith because God sees it and it moves him.  Everything that God has promised is already prepared. But until it we receive the promise, move in faith. Keep working.  So what if things don’t work out when you want it to…what matters it that we don’t stop working our faith out.

Be blessed because you truly are;-)