I began this post over two years ago but was not able to finish it until now. At that time I was beginning the process….
Hey, my wonderful people! My desire is that you find this post encouraging. Over the past few years, I’ve felt this strong urgency and pull to do more and challenge myself even more. I have been feeling that there is more to life than where I am. I have been doing a lot of praying, meditating, and quieting my spirit to get clarity from God. Since I have moved back home, I have had a lot of time to think and observe my life over the past year. I never imagined that I would have ever come back home after being away for 7 years in college…then I went away for a year and now I’m back again. The first time I came back a few years ago, I worked and got active in my community.
I worked as a therapist and served outside of work trying to reconnect with my community. After a while, I was burnt out. I did not want to be bothered. I was exhausted and discouraged. I realized that my hometown was not a place of progression in general especially for African-Americans. What I have come to realize is that the challenge of in productivity and progression is still here…but even deeper I see that there is a lack of purpose in the lives of those in the community. I continue to see so many talented and creative minds, yet there is no direction and no guidance. When people who genuinely desire to see growth and inspire growth in others and themselves, there is a lack of support as well as some resistance. I’m not too phase by either. What does bother me is that there are too many people who speak the word service but their agenda is to feed their egos and insecurities. Negativity is too common.
Being here has allowed me to see to how much I evolved as a woman spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. I’ve learned that my weakest moments have produced strength. I am truly out of my comfort zone. It’s not easy or even popular at times to be different and have a mission of social change. I’ve learned how to stay authentic to who I am in the midst of unproductive, rigid traditions and belief systems that are not conducive to positive, healthy changes…in churches, schools, businesses, organizations, and government. I understand more clearly about nonconformity.
I do believe that it is time for me to branch out from where l am and move on and pursue my destiny even further. The tools that I have gained are invaluable. I am more strategic in my actions and choices. I don’t linger in unproductive, unhealthy relationships or environments. I make sure that I am clear in my communications and offer respect to every person that I encounter and I expect the same in return. I make sure that I support causes that concern me. I don’t overextended myself because I cannot be my best self if I am depleted. It is okay to say no. I am constantly feeding my spirit with inspiration. I take time breathe and laugh. Inhale. Exhale. Let it go. I forgive and seek forgiveness. Peace is necessary.
Most importantly, I have learned that in my moments discomfort and challenges is that it is intended to make me stronger and that there are lessons to be learned so that I am prepared for the next season in life.
Talk to you soon!
It’s extremely disappointing to see so many men and woman in toxic, unhealthy relationships. It breaks my heart to see people tie themselves to individuals that they were never intended to be with. Someone once said, “Marriage can be heaven on earth or hell on earth depending on the person you marry.” It’s amazing how being connected to the wrong person can hold you back in life. What sparked this discussion? Well, while distributing documents to other coworkers at work, one of the ladies on the administrative staff caught my attention. I began to wonder how a beautiful, smart, and loving woman such as herself married the man she married. I won’t spill their tea (meaning their business), but let’s just say he doesn’t deserve her. There are several reasons why people settle in relationships. Below I have listed the top five reasons I believe people settle:
- Fear- Some people may be afraid that they won’t get what they actually desire, so they begin looking at their reality and lose hope in finding the person they were meant to be with. People may also be afraid of being alone, so they settle for unhealthy relationships.
- Desperation- Some people are just desperate. They want companionship so badly that they marry the first person that comes along and shows them any attention.
- To appease others- Some people get married based on what others expect of them. Maybe a parent, sibling, or friend is pushing them to marry a person they feel would be ideal for them.
- Low self-esteem- Some people stay in relationships because they don’t believe they deserve better. They don’t realize how valuable they are which lead them to stay in unhealthy relationships with people who will handle them in a way that reinforces the way they feel about themselves.
- Familiarity- Some people just become complacent in their current relationships. The person they’re with are familiar, and for some, familiar means safe.
Regardless of the reason that a person may settle, settling is never a good thing. In the end you’re only forfeiting what is truly meant for you. I want to encourage everyone not to take marriage and love relationships lightly. Before selecting a mate, be sure that you are healthy and whole yourself so that you can attract a healthy and whole person. When you agree to commit to someone, it should be for all the right reason. Not because you’re desperate or because they’re the only one that’s showing you any attention. They should love all of you. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
What’s up beautiful people!
I wanted to show how you can have different outfits just by making one change. I simply changed my outerwear. The first look has a cardigan and the second has a blazer. This is an easy way to switch up your wardrobe…especially if you’re on a budget. This is also great if you’re on the go. You may need to wear a blazer for work or business, and if you go out later to run errands or somewhere casual, just swap out your outerwear. Talk to you soon!
Blazer: Thrift $3
Shirt: Dots $4
Skirt: Rainbows $5
Booties: Shoe Show $15
I found this meme and added it to my album of memes that brings me encouragement and laughs for days. I like to see and hear things that reminds me that I am making the best decisions for myself. I have made it my mission to not settle for a relationship for the sake of being with someone. I have seen too many beautiful women chose to be with someone who were not deserving of their time. I have heard women accept infidelity, abuse, and down right disrespect as part of their relationship. Why? They desire love and security that healthy relationships give. But stay in a toxic relationship hoping that things will change.
I have made the decision to not let my desire for healthy relationship drive me into desperation to settle. I’ve done it before a few years ago, but I refused to do it again. I want God’s best for me…I sure hope you do too? In my time of waiting, I am just enjoying this journey.