Hey ladies and gentlemen,
I want to take a few moments of your time to share some simple ways of becoming empowered people. I truly believe that a lot of us have labelled being empowered as achieving a certain level of success, status, and popularity. If that was the case, then suicide rates and dissatisfaction with life would not be prevalent. I want to share some personal things that I have done in my process of becoming empowered.
- Choose to be authentically, genuine. I have yet to meet a person who is empowered and phony simultaneously. I have met people whose words appeared positive and their actions seemed kind. But something was off. There is this natural energy that comes from a person who is truthful in character, word, and deed. If there is one thing that I do hold myself accountable for is authenticity.
- Celebrate Others. On this journey of empowerment, finding beauty and inspiration in others is important. I have seen that people who have a hard time celebrating and appreciating others have issues with jealousy, competition, and comparison. You have to choose to be inspired by others instead of crippled by insecurities. Choose to shine your light by shining on others. I look to find beauty and qualities in others because I grow. It’s simple to celebrate others. Pay compliments, show support, and share what inspires you about a person. Be authentic in celebrating others. Shine light on others and you’ll shine light on yourself.
- Celebrate Yourself. In this journey of being empowered. You must take time to celebrate yourself. Celebrating yourself is not being narcissistic. It means taking time to appreciate your awesomeness. I have been guilty of not celebrating my talents and abilities because the people who were around me were not content with themselves. Celebrating yourself is owning everything about you–your strengths and flaws. Pamper and splurge on yourself. Celebrate small successes and accomplishments. Allow others to celebrate you. Choose to not accept negative thoughts and voices and remind yourself of those qualities and traits that make you unique and special. Love yourself and don’t back down.
- Invest in Yourself. The most valuable asset that you have is your life. Take time to feed your spirit, your body, and your mind. Your spirit, body, and mind are all connected and thrive on each other. Your total well-being is essential for being empowered and whole as a person. Make it a priority educate yourself on your passions, goals, and desires. Seek to be balanced in this unbalanced world. You only have one life, one body, one mind and one spirit–each one is vital to your sustainability.
- Surround Yourself with Positive, Balanced-Seeking People. People are essential in your journey to empowerment. We are created to be relational beings, and our relationships either enhance or drain us. Some relationships offer nothing. Toxic and unhealthy connections could hinder and sometimes abort our journey to being empowered. The beauty is that we don’t have to allow our special relationships to remain that way. It is important that we connect with people to are actively working on being better and healthy. Support is great and having good people around you helps push you to be better. When I see those around me improving, it inspires me to be better. One of my favorite scripture verses is from Proverbs 27:17 is “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens of a friend.”
- Check Yourself. This step, to me, covers all of the other steps. Checking yourself means staying aware of your choices, feelings, thoughts, actions, and behaviors. Sometimes we can easily get off balanced for different reasons– some are in our control and others are out our control. Make sure that we evaluate ours lives. Are we doing things to better ourselves? Are we happy and content with our actions and behaviors? Find ways to handle life changes. Be honest about where we are and where we want to be. If there are areas that need improvement, own it and grow. Evaluate what energy you are giving and receiving. Get help if you need it and receive help.
Being empowered is a beautiful and freeing way of life. The journey is not about being perfect. It’s about being better, healthier, and whole.
We’re in this journey together!
What’s up my beautiful people? I have been doing a lot of thinking about the issues of self-esteem with women. I am all about seeing women being empowered by embracing and loving themselves. I find that the topic of being empowered so necessary when it comes to addressing women’s issues. An issue that is major among us women is jealousy. The street term is better known as hating or hatin’.
One thing that frustrates yet saddens me is when I encounter women who deflects their issues and insecurities onto another woman. I have personally witnessed this problem countless times. And this issue is so apparent in the media especially on reality TV. It is painful to see women find pleasure tearing another woman down. It’s sickening to see all of the drama. This problem goes beyond the television and is present in the our relationships with each other.
So here my attempt at addressing “Why is she always hating?”
First, let me give a few definitions of JEALOUSLY :
The Urban dictionary defines jealousy as:
- The feeling of wanting something someone else has.
- The feeling of being angry at someone because they are better off then you or they have what you want.
- The real or perceived threat of the loss of a valued relationship to a rival.
Here are a few from the Freedictionary.com:
- resentful and envious, as of someone’s success, advantages, etc.
- proceeding from suspicious fears or envious resentment
Okay, so let me first say that at some point we all have experienced jealousy. Feeling jealous is a normal human feeling (emotion). However, it is important on how you direct it. I read this quote by Dr. David Matsumoto:
“Emotions color our worlds and give our world meaning. And we wouldn’t be able to know whether we need to attack, or run away, to hold somebody, or to stand afar. Emotions tell us what to do. And emotions give everything in our lives meaning.”
It is important to know why you are feeling that way which I will address later. Jealousy untreated is unhealthy. Untreated jealousy is expressed by gossip, verbal and physical aggression, nasty attitudes, back-stabbing, bullying, murder, and even suicide. I am almost sure that you could add more behaviors to this list. In order to treat or deal with jealously and hatred, we must deal with it at the root. The root begins with you…within your “self”.
So, I mentioned the quote about emotions. Your emotions let you know that something is there or not right. In case of jealousy, it may be an indicator that you’re not happy with where your are in life or you wished you looked better or felt better. You may have lacked validation about how amazing you are. I am concerned when a woman is in a constant state of jealousy or hatred because she is negative, unhappy, and insecure. Some hide behind fabulous clothes and makeup. Some are bullies or mean. Some are quiet and beat themselves up. Some compare themselves to others all the time. No matter how it’s expressed it’s all unhealthy.
My goal is to address ways in which we can began to find healing and acceptance of our imperfections. We as women have so many issues that we have to tackle everyday. Sometimes, past decisions or choices haunt us it is important that we address it and move forward.
So what are your thoughts on jealousy that plagues us at some point?
Be on the look out for the part 2 of this series. I will tackling ways of dealing with chronic jealousy and hate among women.
Until then, stay lovely!
Urban Dictionary http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=jealousy