Momma

Inspiration, Love and Relationship
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Newborn Brandi and Mom

Hello  blogosphere!

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you who have been privileged to be mothers! I want to dedicate this post to my mom.

I am beyond blessed to have a mother who has taken pride in raising me.  She has never made me feel like I was burden or an inconvenience.  She has made so many sacrifices and investments in my life, my sister’s life, and so many other surrogate children lives.  My mom waited to except any adminstrative jobs in her career until we were grown so that she could raise us and nurture us. She taught me the importance of honoring God and being a women of integrity.  She showed us how to treat people kindly and pray for them even when they were unkind and negative.  I have been blessed to be raised by a woman who does not gossip and who is not messy.  I am grateful that she continues to shine her light daily in the lives of hundreds of children.  I am truly blessed.

As I reflect on my life, I am grateful that my mom taught my sister how to be women with character, grace, and wisdom.  I hope that one day I will be able share what she has given me.

She speaks wise words and teaches others to be kind.
Proverbs 31:26 NCV

With love,

Brandi

Dating: High Standards or High Maintenance

Love and Relationship

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Dating sucks…sometimes.  I have to be honest, dating sucks most of the time for me.   It would be great if God could  deliver “the one” at my front with a very clear letter stating,

“Dear Brandi,  here’s your boo for life.  He needs no assembling.  No awkward dates or courtship is necessary.  He doesn’t come with mind games, baggage, or issues.  He communicates perfectly, he integrity,  and most importantly, he is wired especially for.  Yes, Brandi, he can read your mind and he knows just what to do even before you think it. There’s a lifetime guarantee of pure happiness, joy, and unconditional love. If there is any defect, just contact help@heaven.org and he will be fixed instantly.”

Love,

God

Since love or life does not operate with everything you need showing up at your front door, sometimes I wish that certain things in life were simpler.  I know that there is no perfect man however, the process to meeting “the one” is not glamorous.  At least for me.  Someone told me you have to kiss several frogs before you find your prince.  I get the metaphor but it’s still not encouraging and I’m not going to be kissing everything that approaches me especially a frog.

The dating game is changing.  I didn’t realize how much since that aspect of my life has not been a top priority.  In my late teens and early 20’s, it seemed like guys respected a woman with standards even if they didn’t want to.  Now that I’m almost thirty, some men could careless about my standards or any one else’s.  Celibacy, opening doors, and not “turning up” is archaic or whack.  Some women actually prefer to get to know someone without having to have sex early on.  Some of us actually don’t to get drunk or go to clubs all the time. One of the craziest things I have noticed is that some guys view having standards as being high maintenance.   Having some level of self-respect seems to be unpopular and a chore for some guys to handle.  They want everything easy because a lot beautiful women are giving it away so freely.

I remember one guy, a while back, pretty much suggested that I was “lame” because I don’t go clubbing, get drunk, and choose to be celibate.  He asked me what stories would I be able to tell my children.  I can tell my children that I chose not to do everything my peers did and avoided a lot shame, heartbreak, and I kept my dignity and self-respect.  I pretty much suggested to him that he was a “self-righteous jerk” and a waste of my valuable time and energy. Next.

I really could share so many stories.

From my perspective, high maintenance is someone who requires a lot of emotional, financial, and social support.  High maintenance from an emotional aspect is someone who requires frequent validation, uses manipulation to get what they want, and has untreated, severe psychological issues.  From a financial side, a high maintenance partner requires a lot financial support for vanity and material wants and not needs.  Socially high maintenance partners, uses another partner for social status or influence.  They use their partners to be seen and become socially affluent.  High maintenance partners are draining.

Having high standards mean that you demand and expect a certain level of respect from a mate or potential mate.  That’s all.  RESPECT.  Respect me, my mind, my body, and by choices.

I do realize that dating with standards weeds out a lot of unsuitable partners. And for that, I’m eternally grateful.  But seriously, where’s the quality guys that are gentlemen?

What are your thoughts?  Feel to give me feedback.

Brandi

A Dose of Inspiration

Inspiration

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We are all works in progress.  Many times we have to make a conscious effort to do better and be better.  Sometimes being better doesn’t come easy and it requires changes to be made.  Choose to be better.  We are responsible for what energy we put out and our actions. 

Much peace and love,
Brandi

Thoughtful Last Minute Mother’s Day Gift Ideas for Any Budget

Inspiration

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Hi everyone!

Mother’s Day is literally a day away and you may not have gotten mom or other maternal figures in your life something special and memorable. Don’t worry. I wanted to share some really great gift ideas for moms that are memorable. The beauty of giving thoughtful gifts you don’t have to go in debt to make to make mom happy. Ditch the greeting cards and get creative.

At home manicure/pedicure

Pamper mom by giving her a manicure or pedicure at home. You don’t have to be a cosmetologist to massage moms hands and file her nails down. You can spend some one-on-one time catering to mom by painting her nails for her. I do this for my mama and she loves it.

Make a picture collage or slideshow

A few years ago, I made my mom a picture slideshow using PowerPoint. I personalized it with little messages and I shared pictures of every aspect of her life to remind her of how special she is to so many people. Mothers do a lot sometimes they need to be reminded of how amazing they are. I added a really sentimental song to go along with the slideshow.

Cook

Cook mom her favorite meal. If you can’t cook take her out to eat at her favorite restaurant. Who doesn’t like coming home to their favorite meal?

Personalized Gift Set

Instead of buying pre-made gift baskets or sets, make your own. I love doing this gift idea because I personally choose the items that I want to give mom. I fill it with her favorite snacks, goodies, treats. You can put gift cards, clothes, skin care items, and any things that she needs. This year, I am putting my mom’s gift set in some decorative boxes I got from Ross. I chose boxes this year instead of gift bags because she could use the boxes as decoration or storage for later. You can be as creative as you want.

Mini Makeover

I noticed that a lot of mothers sacrifice a lot to give to their families. With all of the sacrifices, moms forget to take care of themselves. Giving mom a mini makeover is great so that she get feel beautiful on Mother’s Day. You don’t have to spend a lot. Pick out a cute dress for mom to wear. Do her makeup. If she’s not into makeup, give her some neutral lipstick or gloss. A little mascara is okay. Let her get her hair done or do it for her. The goal is mom should feel beautiful.

Spa Date

Some spas offer specials or packages. Some spas can customize their packages. If it’s in your budget, find something mom needs or likes. I took my to the spa to get pampered and I scheduled a couples spa package to get a massage and have lunch with my mom at the spa. It was a really great experience because we were able to talk and bond. Spas offer different services so do some research and check out reviews before you go so that the experience is great.  You can schedule the spa date after Mother’s Day as a continuation of celebrating mom.

I hope these gift ideas were helpful.  There are so many other ideas.  Be creative and enjoy celebrating your mom!

Happy Mother’s Day!

Brandi

Six Steps to Becoming Empowered

Inspiration, Let's Talk...Therapy

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Hey ladies and gentlemen,

I want to take a few moments of your time to share some simple ways of becoming empowered people.  I truly believe that a lot of us have labelled being empowered as achieving a certain level of success, status, and popularity.  If that was the case, then suicide rates and dissatisfaction with life would not be prevalent.  I want to share some personal things that I have done in my process of becoming empowered.

  1. Choose to be authentically, genuine.  I have yet to meet a person who is empowered and phony simultaneously.  I have met people whose words appeared positive and their actions seemed kind.  But something was off.  There is this natural energy that comes from a person who is truthful in character, word, and deed.  If there is one thing that I do hold myself accountable for is authenticity.
  2. Celebrate Others.  On this journey of empowerment, finding beauty and inspiration in others is important.  I have seen that people who have a hard time celebrating and appreciating others have issues with jealousy, competition, and comparison.  You have to choose to be inspired by others instead of crippled by insecurities.  Choose to shine your light by shining on others.  I look to find beauty and qualities in others because I grow.  It’s simple to celebrate others.  Pay compliments, show support, and share what inspires you about a person.  Be authentic in celebrating others. Shine light on others and you’ll shine light on yourself.
  3. Celebrate Yourself.  In this journey of being empowered.  You must take time to celebrate yourself.  Celebrating yourself is not being narcissistic.  It means taking time to appreciate your awesomeness.  I have been guilty of not celebrating my talents and abilities because the people who were around me were not content with themselves.  Celebrating yourself is owning everything about you–your strengths and flaws.  Pamper and splurge on yourself.  Celebrate small successes and accomplishments.  Allow others to celebrate you.  Choose to not accept negative thoughts and voices and remind yourself of those qualities and traits that make you unique and special.  Love yourself and don’t back down.
  4. Invest in Yourself.  The most valuable asset that you have is your life.  Take time to feed your spirit, your body, and your mind.  Your spirit, body, and mind are all connected and thrive on each other.  Your total well-being is essential for being empowered and whole as a person.  Make it a priority educate yourself on your passions, goals, and desires.  Seek to be balanced in this unbalanced world.  You only have one life, one body, one mind and one spirit–each one is vital to your sustainability.
  5. Surround Yourself with Positive, Balanced-Seeking People.  People are essential in your journey to empowerment.  We are created to be relational beings, and our relationships either enhance or drain us.  Some relationships offer nothing.  Toxic and unhealthy connections could hinder and sometimes abort our journey to being empowered.  The beauty is that we don’t have to allow our special relationships to remain that way.  It is important that we connect with people to are actively working on being better and healthy.  Support is great and having good people around you helps push you to be better.   When I see those around me improving, it inspires me to be better. One of my favorite scripture verses is from Proverbs 27:17 is “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens of a friend.”
  6. Check Yourself.   This step, to me, covers all of the other steps.  Checking yourself means staying aware of your choices, feelings, thoughts, actions, and behaviors.  Sometimes we can easily get off balanced for different reasons– some are in our control and others are out  our control.  Make sure that we evaluate ours lives.  Are we doing things to better ourselves?  Are we happy and content with our actions and behaviors? Find ways to handle life changes.  Be honest about where we are and where we want to be.  If there are areas that need improvement, own it and grow.  Evaluate what energy you are giving and receiving.  Get help if you need it and receive help.

Being empowered is a beautiful and freeing way of life.  The journey is not about being perfect.  It’s about being better, healthier, and whole.

We’re in this journey together!

Brandi