A Sister’s Perspective on Dating Rules

Hey my beautiful people! I have a post written by sister that I want to share about dating rules….

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The experts say, “you’re expectations are unrealistic. You’re asking for too much. Don’t lower your standards but readjust them. Do this. Don’t do that.” You get a whiplash looking at all these relationship rules placed in front of you. Trying to figure out who to listen to. What to believe. You have information overload trying to sort through everything to figure out which fits your situation best. So you decide to readjust your standards hoping to get better results than you have in the past. Because obviously your way is very wrong. You try this new method of dating just to find out that it doesn’t work. You end up heartbroken, drained emotionally and physically, frustrated, bitter, confused, and lost. Then you’re stuck trying to figure out what to do next. Whose advice to try next. Whose book to read. Here’s the answer to all of your relationship questions. Find out what you want and the things that you must have in a relationship. Then stick to it. No compromising on those things. We as women tend to date men based on their potential. We see what they could be and date that person instead of the person they truly are. The truth is that most men have potential, but we as women have to choose the man who’s progressively reaching his goals.

 

Jessica Treadway

 

Relationship: Rules and Games Part I

What’s up people?  I am absolutely tired of the rules and games when it comes to relationships and love.  There have been so many stipulations and rules of what to do, how to do it, when to do it and why you must do it?  I have read countless books, engaged in forums and discussions, and have studied relationship experts. I could write several books about all of the information I have received.  Sometimes I believe that we get so overwhelmed with information that is good, that we fail to allow relationship to happen naturally.  I believe that we sometimes subconsciously use rules and unfortunately games to protect ourselves from getting hurt or as a prevention from being hurt again. Why can’t relationships be simple yet fulfilling?  I say simple in the fact that both parties open up about their true desires to love, trust, give, share, or whatever that’s needed.  I have thought about this for a while now.  The answer that I have found was that so many of us don’t want to be vulnerable.

Vulnerability is hard place for many of us to go. Vulnerability involves sharing your emotions and who you really are at the risk of being hurt, judged, and possibly rejected.  Even with all of the risk involved there is a chance that vulnerability affords you the opportunity trusting and being trusted, being accepted, sharing your flaws and strengths… vulnerability ultimately gives you the chance of falling in love with someone who knows who you truly are and loves you because of that.

I challenge you to rethink why you use rule and games in relationships or identify if you are using these methods to be safe.  I am not saying to be foolish and put yourself in a position to cause you physically and emotionally harm or abuse.  Take chance at allowing love to come and don’t push it away.  You never know what you’re missing out on!

You deserve to be happy;-)

Brandi